.the key to finding who you are
Great thinkers and philosophers are constantly reciting the thesis that we, human beings, are not our thoughts, words we speak, nor our actions. Meaning, we cannot be identified with/by, nor attached to them. Until approximately 3 months ago, I had absolutely no idea what that meant. I always felt like the way I think, opinions I have to share, and how I want to communicate them from my word choice to my dancing, make me exactly who I am! Fiery, unique, outgoing, vibrant! Wrong. SO wrong that you are quickly going to appreciate by the end of this that it’s a great thing this is not what defines us. But if this is “wrong”, then who am I exactly? What am I?
Earlier this year, I was able to consciously and consistently start practicing catching my mind in the act of negative self-talk and quieting this negative self-talk, starting with one deep breath, because I wanted to exude the light I had within myself more than anything else. This slowly developed into muscle memory, but being able to tell myself “X is not true”, was not necessarily another thought, rather it was my authentic self entering the chat and taking up space. By taking that one, deep breath, my authentic being was able to exercise its presence; also known as present-moment awareness. I know you’re probably like, “well duh Gabi,” but I want to be clear this is something of its own kind - your authentic being is not a thought, it’s a being that exists within you (and your negative thoughts, are simply thoughts, much less powerful - remember that next time you’re in a rut). This, ladies and gentleman, is who we really are.
Who we really are is that - it’s the fraction of you that steps up to advocate for your peace of mind, hope for your future, validating and seeing yourself. Your authentic being is like a solid, spherical ball of light - it doesn’t speak, it doesn’t even know what you look like. It authentically moves you (hence the “authentic self” language).
What is tricky about our authentic selves is that it can only be found and channeled in the present moment because that is the only place it can exist (i.e. a fish cannot exist on land, only in water). Not only does it not speak nor know what you look like, it does not know time nor plans (it’s lowkey like a newborn baby, but not, because imprinting, which sucks). Next time your caught in the middle of a horrific conversation with yourself (i.e. “I can’t do this”) try channeling this new super power - YOU. Breathe, feel, and listen for it. It will nudge you to reassure you that nothing else in this entire world matters, except what exists in the now - your authentic self.
