.how to put your “love for something (or someone) to the test
In today’s society, we're encouraged to want so much. YouTube be like “Kim K’s new SKIMS? You want that.” Or “Create a new income stream using TikTok!” It’s lowkey tempting. But recently I’ve been stopping myself in my tracks…
My mind will say something like – “Girl, if you get that thing, you better love it.” But then I ask myself (here goes my triple-air sign, overthinking brain), “How do I know if I love this?”
I love love. Don’t we all? It’s the feeling of connection to people, experiences, and even material objects for me. We crave the feeling it brings us. Love makes us feel seen, heard, and supported. We crave its energy! But in today’s society, we also throw this word around. We make it general. Love is a universal way of life we can lead by, but how we relate and experience it is individual. So how do you know if you love something (or someone)?
I showed up to a Leadership Breakfast in early March and love was the last thing I expected to hear about. One of the speakers was Founder and Lead Pastor of Mosaic Church (shoutout to the fam), Erwin McManus. He said, “The defining characteristic of love is what you’re willing to sacrifice.”
That reeeeaaaalllllllyyyyy hit me. A light switched on in my head. If I truly love something, then there has to be something I am willing to sacrifice for it.
Here’s my “how to put your love to the test equation”:
Decide where in my life the thing I am testing will have the strongest impact. (Pro tip: Choose an area of life where the biggest change will happen.) For example, if I am trying to decide whether I love a dog, I would pick sleep as my variable. Sleep is important to me! And from what I know, a dog will change the way I sleep every single night, forever. (suuuupperrr dramatic, but you get the picture.)
From here, I would ask myself, “Am I willing to sacrifice my sleep for this dog? Or risk a permanent change in my sleep for this dog?”
It is that simple, yes. But also, yes, I know what you’re thinking. “It’s not that easy friend.” That’s because our answer is never usually a blanket “yes” or “no”. We’re human. We navigate a million complex possibilities because we care. Let me give you a few tips along this journey of testing your love for something:
When you start overthinking, breathe in for 4 counts, hold, then release for 4 counts. Then challenge yourself to make a simple decision based on what you feel in the moment. (If you feel light and open, make that sacrifice. Feeling anxious? Then it might be a no and that is a-okay friend.)
If you like going down many roads and that’s working for you right now, keep at it. With each road you go down, ask yourself “Will this road violate or honor my needs and boundaries?” (If you have no idea what a boundary is, don’t worry I gotchu next month.)
Sometimes you have to get out of your own way. Step through fear and make the sacrifice in the name of love. (uggghhh, I had to be corny with that one.)
When we love something, we want to sacrifice things. Because once we get that person or dog we love in our hands, we feel an undeniable power of connection. So make sacrifices and choose to love. (it's worth it in the end!)
